You Are My Baby Brother
by AliRose
Summary: Dean is angry at Sam for not looking for him in purgatory. Sam feels guilty for not being what his brother needed him to be. As Dean is about to leave, Sam begs him to talk. Takes place during Season 8, and is my take on how their brother relationship is recovered. A one-shot. This is my first Supernatural fic, so any and all reviews are appreciated!


A/N: I started watching Supernatural last year and LOVED it. The brothers' relationship is my favorite part of the whole show. I've been inspired to write a Supernatural fic based on Sam and Dean's relationship by all the other writers on this page. So this is my first Supernatural fic. Any and all reviews are welcomed and appreciated!

Summary: Dean is angry at Sam for not looking for him in purgatory. Sam feels guilty for not being what his brother needed him to be. As Dean is about to leave, Sam begs him to talk.

**YOU ARE MY BABY BROTHER**

Sam is fully aware of his brother's disgust with him. The tension between them has made them virtually estranged. They do all their hunts on autopilot. Once they are home, they go through the motions of the beer, burgers, and watching a stupid sitcom. They talk but mainly out of necessity with no substance behind it. Sam knows Dean will never budge unless he breaks him. Although, Sam doesn't want to face his brother's wrath about not looking for him while he was in purgatory, it's his own conscience that scares him more. However, after months of this song and dance, Sam has decided he's had enough. He swallows his pride and turns to Dean's room. After receiving no answer to his knock, Sam walks in and is astounded by what he sees. Dean's room is just about empty, his duffel bag packed.

"What the hell are you doing?" Sam asks. Dean looks at his brother with steely cool eyes.

"What's it look like, Einstein?" Dean coldly throws the last of his clothes in his bag and zips it up. He picks up his bag and brushes past Sam.

"Dean!" Sam runs after him. "What the hell! You're leaving?"

"Yeah!" Dean throws his bag down violently and turns back to Sam. "I'm leaving! You and I both know we're not exactly Sherlock and Watson anymore!"

"Because we never talk anymore, and I'm fully aware you don't want to!" Sam begins to shake in frustration.

"What are we, chicks? You don't want me around anyway! You made that point clear when you left me to rot in purgatory while you pranced around with your precious girl!"

"Dean…."

"No I get it, you wanted that apple pie life, I get it. You never wanted a part of this life."

"It wasn't like that…." Sam speaks hesitantly.

"You wanted the normal life. All the way back to when you left for college. I get it, bro, I do"

"No, Dean, you don't!"

"Yeah, I do. I was finally out of your way, so you could do what you wanted"

"Dean! Stop!"

"Well guess what, brother, I am out of your life again. Go back to your girl. Live your life, forget about mom, dad, me. I'm gone, Sam." Throws duffel bag over his shoulder and heads toward the door.

"Dean! Please!" Sam pulls Dean's duffel bag and throws it on the floor, almost taking Dean with it. Dean swings around and shoves Sam with more force than expected. Sam stumbles back onto the couch eyes widened in surprise. Dean immediately feels a twinge of guilt, but maintains his angry composure and picks up his bag again. "Dean, will you just stop for a second?" He sits up on the bed, rubbing his shoulder that he used to brace himself against the fall. Dean's first mistake was catching his brother's pleading puppy dog eyes. He mutters some indistinct curse and throws his bag down and crosses his arms, anger still pulsating through him.

"Well?"

Sam stands up and looks straight into his brother's scowl. Dean, unable to handle direct eye contact, stares slightly behind Sam. Sam sighs deeply. "Dean, I lost you." Sam's breath catches in this throat. Dean doesn't move. "I lost you, again, Dean. You don't know what that did to me! I failed you again." Sam's voice shook and he turned around. Dean looks back at his brother in wonderment.

"Sam," Dean starts.

"God, Dean!" Sam turns back toward his brother, hazel eyes glistening. "I had lost you, again! When you were in hell, I searched and fought tooth and nail to get you out! I couldn't do it! It was Cas who pulled you out! I failed you, Dean! And now you were gone again! I didn't even know where to start. I had no idea where you were. I had lost you. I didn't know if you were in hell again, I didn't know where the hell Dick Roman had taken you. What was I supposed to do? All I know is I lost you, again! My brother was gone….again! I couldn't handle it, Dean. My brother, the only one who mattered most to me, was gone. I had failed you. What kind of brother have I been? You don't think I tried? And now I'm failing you again. I didn't know how to live. Amelia came into my life by a freak accident. She helped me heal, Dean. You were dead, at least as good as dead. I didn't know what else to do." Tears spilled over and Sam wipes them quickly with the back of his hand, struggling against the sobs that rise in his chest.

"Sammy…" Dean whispers, his resolve beginning to fail.

"You've died in my arms more than I can care to count. All those times I couldn't do a thing to stop it. I couldn't bring you back. I couldn't find you. I failed, Dean." He turns around as a stifled sob escapes. "Amelia, she…she helped me through. She helped me mourn, like real people do. I couldn't bear that I had lost you again, Dean. I had lost my big brother and I knew no matter how hard I tried, I would fail again!" Dean's anger resolves into concern, even empathy as he remembers his own feelings when Sam died that awful night in Cold Oak, and that horrible day that Sam had fallen into hell, and his time with Lisa as he mourned for Sam. He sighs deeply keeping his own sudden surge of emotion in check. Sam runs his hand through his hair and turns back to face Dean, "You should've left me dead that night, Dean," he sobs. "You should've left me dead in Cold Oak." Dean glares at his brother in utter shock at what he just heard. "Why didn't you leave me dead? Why couldn't you have just left me dead?" Sam covers his face and Dean immediately reaches for his brother's hands and pulls them away.

"Now you listen to me," Dean grips Sam's wrists and looks his brother in the eyes, fighting his own tears. "You are my brother." Sam tries to pull away, but Dean's hold is too strong. "No, you look at me!" He grabs Sam's chin and meets his teary gaze. "You are my brother! I couldn't leave you dead because it was my job to protect you! And…" Dean inhales sharply before continuing. "I couldn't live without you, Sammy. You're my baby brother. _I'm_ the one who failed to protect you that night, Sammy. _I_ am the one who failed! Now I don't want you _EVER_ blaming yourself for any bullshit that's happened!"

"But Dean, it's…" Sam chokes. Immediately Dean pulls his brother into a strong hug, bracing Sam's face into the crook of his neck. Sam breaks into gasping sobs as he feels Dean's embrace. Sam holds onto his brother and never wants to let him go. Dean feels Sam's flow of tears on his neck and body shaking with sobs. He holds Sam even tighter as his guilt begins to surface. What kind of big brother had he been since he'd returned? Doing nothing but blaming Sam for not looking for him. He never even stopped to consider what Sammy had to face was exactly what he endured when his brother had disappeared. Had it not been for Lisa, Dean would have not survived losing Sam. Hell, he barely survived with her.

"I'm here now, Sammy," Dean whispers comfortingly. "I'm here."

"Please don't leave…" Sam voice nothing but a squeak.

"I'm not going anywhere, Sammy, I'm here." He rubs Sam's back soothingly, fighting to maintain control. Sam sobs slowly turn into deep exhales.

"I failed you," Sam laments. Dean pulls Sam's head back looking squarely in his eyes.

"No, you did not," Dean speaks slowly and emphatically. More tears flow as Sam stifles another sob. "No, Sammy." Dean clenches his jaw as the desperation in Sam's eyes is heartbreaking.

"You said Benny is the only…"

"Benny?" Dean's interrupts at the mention of his friend. "Benny and I fought to get out of purgatory together. Benny is not…" His lowers his eyes as his voice betrays him. Guilt surges through Dean as he remembers his cutting words to his brother.

_The only person that hasn't let me down is Benny! _

_Benny has been more of a brother to me this past year than you've ever been!_

The angry words reverberate in his mind as he looks back up at his brother. Although Sam has calmed some, Dean still cringes at the pain that etches Sam's face. Sam shakes his head as his brother grips the back of his neck meeting his brother's reddened eyes.

"Sammy." Dean barely manages a whisper through the lump forming in his throat. "Sammy, Benny is not you." Sam's brow furrows. "Benny is not you, Sammy." Tears threaten Dean as Sam throws his head back and scoffs.

"But you said…"

"To hell with what I said, Sammy!" Dean shouts as his grip tightens around Sam's neck. "Like I said, Benny and I fought together to get out of purgatory!"

"Exactly…because I failed…"

"Shut up, Sammy!" Dean's forcefulness startles Sam into a wide-eyed silence. "Listen to me! The only reason Benny and I fought together was because Benny needed a human to escape purgatory! He needed my body to get out! And I needed to find the portal. He knew where it was, so we helped each other. Yeah, we went through a lotta shit together there, but Sammy…" Dean's voice softens as his grip relaxes into a gentle hold, "Sammy, Benny is not my baby brother." Sam looks away slightly as a second round of tears begin to spill. "_You_ are my baby brother. _My baby brother_." Dean grips Sam's chin. "The one Dad put in my arms and I carried out of the fire that night Mom died. The one who I took care of growing up when Dad was away. The one I went to hell for. The one…" Dean's voice hitches. "The one I absolutely _cannot_ live without. Sammy, no one, _NO ONE_ can or ever will replace you. You _have_ to know that! I was angry, Sammy. And I'm so sorry." Dean pulls Sam back into his embrace and feels his brother mold into his arms. He holds Sam tightly feeling every sob rack his brother's body. "I'm so sorry, Sammy." Dean can barely manage a whisper as his guilt ravaged within him. He holds his baby brother as tight as he possible can. "You're my baby brother." Dean rests his own head on Sam's shuddering shoulder and ever so silently allows his own tears to fall.

A/N: Thank you so much for reading! If you have a moment, please please review!


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